ParentClick Santa Barbara

Parents’ Night Out: Make It a Priority


My husband and I are in a rut. We keep “giving away” our date nights. We make the effort to leave home together as a couple, but what ends up happening is we cash in our time away from the kids to spend it with other people—friends, work associates, attending charity events, etc. We really enjoy these evenings out. We reconnect with friends. I am amused by and reminded of my husband’s great sense of humor when I hear him talk and joke with others. We have a blast and I do not want to lose these evenings. The only problem is that it’s not the same as an evening spent alone together. What I have discovered is that if we “give away” our date nights for a long stretch (and it sometimes happens, I’ll admit,) our alone time together– by the time we finally get it– can resemble a business meeting because we have so much we really need to talk about.

I was once told that if I wanted to take care of my children, I should take care of my marriage. I would say this is pretty old-fashioned advice. Archaic? Antiquated? Bygone? Obsolete? The SAT vocabulary words my daughter has been studying bubble right to the surface! I know I am not alone in knowing plenty of single parent families who are managing quite fine, thank you very much. This said, as with most well-meant advice, there is an element of truth at the core of it. Sometimes as parents we get so busy, distracted and exhausted by all the demands put upon us that we forget to take care of our partner in all of what we are working so hard to do.

All of this is a long way of saying that date nights are actually important, serve a purpose, and should be kept a priority. Date nights are not nights away from home watching kids’ sports games, attending charity events, or going to dinner parties with friends (although all of these things are great to do together, really fun and important too.) Date nights are about focusing on your partner and giving that partner a whole lot more than a meeting with an agenda of things that have to be discussed and decided on.

On that note, I think I should be going. I need to make a reservation. For two.


July 15, 2015

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