ParentClick Santa Barbara

Mom support at every stage!


Last week I had dinner with three moms from my “mommy group”. Our children are now fourteen and we are all going in different directions which means we only manage to get together as moms a couple times a year. I realized sitting with these ladies that the bond that was created all those years ago was so special and provided me with so much support.

As a new parent, I felt so vulnerable questioning whether I was doing everything correctly for my daughters while at the same time feeling exhausted, overwhelmed and sometimes frustrated. Every week when I met up with my mommy playgroup, I felt normal again because I knew I was not alone.

Fourteen years later, I am still questioning my parenting ability. The difference now is that I have children who are happy to tell me that I am screwing up and if only I could be more like their friends’ parents. I thought having a toddler say no to me was hard, I had no idea that having a teenager who is taller than me and even more stubborn would be even more challenging. My evening with the moms helped me to feel centered again because once again I know that I am not alone.

I would not mind a “Parent of Teens” group for this next stage. Each of our children are different both inside and out. Our parenting styles and approaches are different. Everyone’s day to day family life is different. But even with all these differences, we can learn from each other. When I take the time to talk to other parents, I gain more insight and am able to find new approaches to difficult situations. Parenting is an ongoing education and requires us to constantly navigate new territory.

Parenting is humbling. I know that I am doing the best that I can but it is so easy to doubt myself and so hard to give up the image of the perfect mom. I have to remind myself that there is no perfect parent nor is there a perfect child. When I open up with other parents about my highs and lows of parenting, I find it is a relief to let down the facade of being a perfect family. As parents, we can laugh together and cry together and find the humor in everything we are challenged with each day.

I no longer have a playgroup to go to every week so I have to make it a priority to set up time with other moms so that I can get that support and perspective on parenting. We need to lean on each other because it takes a village and it is too hard to do it all alone.

May 13, 2014

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